Wednesday, April 30, 2008

JeNeale

I love all my sisters-in-law (how lucky can a girl get?) but today I am thinking about one in particular - JeNeale. We met for the first time right after Cassie was born if I remember correctly. I had just returned home from my mission. I don't remember a lot about that initial meeting because I was so ga-ga over Jay but I remember her little toddler, Dalin, with his ice blue eyes and big smile, and her chubster baby, Cassie. I remember that after our wedding we stayed and opened all our gifts before leaving on our reception because she and Brent would be returning to Arizona before we got back and we wanted her to be able to share that with us. The very next morning we called her from our hotel because we had forgotten our coats and she and Brent met us in the parking lot. I felt then that both she and Brent were happy for us and loved us deeply.

Our first Christmas she gave us a cookbook with handwritten recipes. Some were recipes she and Brent enjoyed and many were recipes she and Jay had grown up with in mom's kitchen. I have since acquired many cookbooks but that first one is still the one I most often reach for. Two weeks ago the back cover fell off and recipes that I had slipped into pockets on the back came spilling out all over. I picked everything back up and rubber-banded the book together. Some things just can't be replaced. Some of our favorites have been tater tot casserole, mom's chicken enchiladas and her hot fudge sauce. I have made them hundreds of times.

Since then I have received many gifts from her. One birthday she gave me a book called Simple Abundance and a gratitude journal inscribed by her. Most recently I received a white long-sleeve T-Shirt that I wore 3 of the 7 days of the week during the winter and early spring. She seems to innately know what I like. I remember going to a clearance sale at Old Navy with her during a time when money was very tight. I was going simply for the company. As we headed to the register she quickly turned back and with a "don't give me any nonsense" look that only mothers possess she picked up a skirt she had seen me admiring and bought it for me. Many things have been bestowed upon our family by her bounteous hand. My children have received the most wonderful care packages from Aunt JeNeale with candy, small gifts, "real" golden dollars, cards and clothing. She is one of the most generous people I have ever known.

When I have gone through those times in my life that have been very painful she is one with whom I have shared my deepest sorrows. After London died she was the one who pointed out that I might be going through clinical depression and the one who urged me to get help. She was the one I called and still call when I have questions or concerns about this illness.
She came with other family members and held our baby and cried and wrote both Jay and I individual and deeply personal letters of encouragement that we still treasure. She even had a grandchild named London (Cassie's doll). :) During another profoundly difficult time in my life she listened quietly and became an advocate for me and the decisions I sometimes made that didn't appear to make sense.

She does not judge me for the foolish things I've done or the unkind or downright absurd things I have said like the time right after my mission to a third world country when my heart was broken over the poverty of those great people and I wildly stated that mothers shouldn't rub expensive Bath and Body Works lotion on their daughters when other mothers didn't even have milk for their babies. I still want other mothers and children to have what they need and try to be aware and helpful but, I confess, sometimes Lacey Grace smells a little like a human grapefruit proving that JeNeale is kind enough to love and forgive even a complete hypocrite. She always gives me the benefit of the doubt.

She loves my children and my husband and wants our family to succeed. I feel that. She laughs at our jokes and compliments budding talents. Last year when Topher performed his very rudimentary tap dance for our family I had tears come to my eyes. I looked around at all the family noting their encouraging and amused smiles and and saw that JeNeale was looking at me. No words were spoken but in that moment I felt her vicarious love of my son and her tender sentiment toward me - an inordinately pleased mother.

She loves the work that Jay does and values his skills. She gives genuine compliments to him and to me and to our children. Once, after speaking at a funeral and completely losing my composure I found a note which I still have tucked away in my scripture journal. Among other things it said, "I am blessed to be your sister."

That is exactly how I feel. Blessed.

3 comments:

JeNeale said...

It is 11:00 at night going into concert weekend. I am incredibly stressed out and starting to get sick and have been feeling very inadequate for several reasons. I've even been feeling like the worst sister-in-law in the world because I haven't called you lately and haven't had much time to spend with Ris and Maren.

So at 11:00 when I should be sleeping, I felt compelled to come read blogs, which I haven't had a chance to do for almost a week. And now I am thanking the Lord once more for a tender mercy from the keyboard of my sister-in-law. Thank you. You always seem to know when I need a lift as well. I'm so grateful the Lord made you my sister. I couldn't have chosen or asked for a better one. I love you -- JeNeale

The Hills said...

If I could paste your words on my blog (claiming them as my own for JeNeale) without looking like an insensitive idiot, I would. You express things so beautifully.

Marisa said...

You are such a thoughtful sister-in-law and I'm so lucky to be your sister (in-law).