For $

Magic

And I was expecting cattle and armadillos in Texas! I also saw lions, moose, badgers and a host of other wildlife.......on my first trip to Cabella's.

I visited Kaylyn in Austin, Texas over her 30th birthday. My parents and Renee came, too and we had a grand time eating Texas BBQ, visiting the Alamo and the riverwalk in San Antonio, and shopping at the huge outlet malls somewhere between Austin and San Antonio. Another highlight for me, I'm sorry to say, was going to Costco. I confess, I love Costco. All that bulk stuff makes me feel rich and the only thing I actually bought were fiber pills (no comments on that, please).

On the way home I got stranded at the airports, several, and when I finally arrived home 32 hours later it felt a little magical. I mean, when was the last time I saw 50 dirty baby food containers in the sink and teared up? With happiness, I mean. Maybe the magic had something to do with the fact that I had started to doubt that I would survive to see home again. I almost spent the night at LaGuardia airport in NYC (more details on that later), took a taxi from New Jersey to Brooklyn (way better than any rolller coaster I've ever ridden), and survived a windy landing in New Hampshire that, during one huge dip, made the retired army guy sitting across the aisle from me scream. When I stepped off the plane Jay looked better than he did on the day I married him! He did a great job with the kids and the house. He had even cleaned our bedroom and not one of you can fathom what a monumental effort that was. I feel so grateful for his selflessness. I often tell him he is a better homemaker than me and fortunately I'm not threatened by his efficiency. (Carry on, honey. Please.) I'd like to send him on an escape with his brothers next March and I'll stay with the kids. Cash, Jared, Brent, what do you say?

It's finally happened

There are lots of things I have been looking forward to for a long time - a new couch, a flat stomach, a housekeeper, a college degree, rice cakes that taste like Snickers, and the list goes on. And so I ask you, why couldn't one of those things have finally happened. One of those things would have brought great joy and satisfaction. Instead another first occurred only minutes ago - one of my children cut their own hair.
Lacey Grace now has bangs, lots of them, all shapes and sizes. She came proudly into the kitchen where I was cooking pudding on the stove and showed me her handful of hair. "I just wanted to see what I would look like," she told me.

In the past I've made the daring and foolish comment, "Not one of my children has ever cut their hair." I haven't meant this in a self-righteous way, I was just stating a fact and one I felt very grateful for, too. Just days before Lincoln's birth I stated another fact. "I have got the laundry under control." This was not bragging. This was simple truth. You know how there are some things that are always true, always have been, always will be and then there are other less permanent kinds of truth? Well,...
With these and other rash statements in mind, I would like to publicly withdraw a recent remark, "To this point I've never had a child that colored on the wall." I really said that. Out loud. To a witness. I take small comfort in the fact that I did say "to this point," but I didn't really mean it. Today I'd like to humbly ask that those words be struck from the record.

the laundry as it currently stands (or sits)

the bottom of the pan the pudding was in when Lacey Grace came in with her new haircut

Branch Talent Show

The branch talent show was lots of fun. Our family was last on the program. We did a piano quintet. Lacey Grace walked to the piano first and played a D over and over again. Ronan was next and played the melody Skip to My Lou while Lacey continued playing her D. Topher came in next and played a bass accompaniment, Jay next with more in the Bass Clef and then I came last with a jazzy treble part. All five parts sound great together and it's fun to hear them built. Then one by one we went out as we had come in starting with me while the others continue playing on down to Lacey. When only Lacey Grace is left she plays her solitary D several times and then stands up and does a magnificent curtsy. Everybody did a great job! If any of you are wondering if I wrote this number I regretfully confess, "No, I didn't. But I wish I had." My brother Kelly saw it performed on his mission, written by one of the moms in the ward in Canada and memorized all the parts so his family could one day perform it. So, thank you Sister from Manitoba. You are brilliant and we had fun. Pictures forthcoming. Also, there are now some pictures posted on my pinewood derby entry. (Thanks, Jay!)

We went maple sugaring today. Our Branch President's operation was named Best Maple Sugaring in New Hampshire by Yankee Magazine. The kids got to carry buckets of sap from trees to the sugar house, got to ride in the tractor-pulled wagon to collect the sap from huge containers in the woods, got to hang out in the sugar house (if heaven has a smell I think it must smell like maple sap being boiled down), and got to taste the original sap and then the finished syrup. It was a wonderful afternoon. Each child came home with their own little bottle of syrup and the family has a larger bottle.

You might be a redneck

Whenever I change a diaper I put it in a grocery bag, tie it up and chuck it across the garage, over the van and into our enormous pile of garbage waiting for Jay to make a run to the "transfer station" (fancy word for dump except they haul the garbage away). Occasionally my aim is a little off and the diaper ends up on top of the van. I leave it there knowing that I will certainly see and remove it before I go anywhere. Sadly, this doesn't always happen and I drive around with a diaper on the roof. It never blows off because we have a luggage rack that keeps it securely in place. Today, while babysitting my friend's little boy I changed a very, very, very, infinity stinky diaper and tossed it in the direction of the garbage pile. It, of course, landed on top of the van and I of course, forgot and drove to a friend's house. Upon exiting the house, I saw the "baggage" and took it off the roof, placing it inside the car on the passenger seat until we got to the store where I could dispose of it. About one minute into the trip the smell was so overpowering that I stopped the car in the middle of the road (this is the country, you know). "What are you doing, mama?" queried Lacey Grace. Wordlessly, I grabbed the "diaper bag,"
stepped out of the van, and chucked it back on top of the roof.

Tag

10 Years ago: Jay and I were living in the Governor's Mansion in Salt Lake City with our baby boy, Topher. Jay was working at his first Ad Agency, Blaine/Olsen/White/Gurr, and we thought our dreams were beginning to come true. We were right.

Things on My ToDo List Today: Call my sister, Kaylyn, to wish her a happy birthday, bring in a load of wood for the stove, help Lincoln practice sitting up (he's almost got it!), bring in another load of wood, watch my friend Jenn's little boy while she teaches preschool, work on an upcoming talk for church, wood, exercise, play Polly Pockets or princesses with Lacey Grace, help the kids practice their parts for the branch talent show (a comedic family piano number), listen to Topher and Ronan read "Who's on First" (Abbott and Costello) which is hilarious - the actors as well as the script; how much WOOD would a woodchuck chuck if...., buy bar soap for the tub because Jay's is tired of using Johnson's Baby Soap

What would I do if I suddenly became a billionaire:
1. I'm not simply copying JeNeale, I really would love to do this - pay off the houses of my siblings and Jay's siblings.
2. Go with Jay and my children on fun adventures, a beachhouse for a week, Disneyworld, the Dominican Republic on a family service mission, a ski lodge with lessons for everyone, swimming with Dolphins in the Florida Keys, a cruise, etc.. I'd also love to do this with extended family members.
3. Build Jay an incredible studio over the garage where he could work and play and be inspired. (I think this would be my number one favorite thing to do.)
4. Pay off our student loans.
5. Publish my music - not necessarily for anyone else, just for my family.
6. Contribute more that $5 to the Perpetual Education Fund and the Humanitarian Fund.
7. Establish a scholarship fund in the name of my grandparents or my parents at BYUI or Iowa State.
8. Invest (not nearly so fun as the other stuff but important)
9. Give someone a $500 dollar Wal-Mart gift card (O.K. Cash and Jay, it doesn't have to be Wal-Mart) when they really need it like someone once did for us.
I think I just spent that billion dollars in five minutes. Can I have some more?

Bad Habits
1. Biting my lips
2. Eating candy (even if it belongs to my children and I haven't asked permission. I'm currently eating Ronan's Reese's and telling myself, "It's O.K.. I'll buy him another before he notices."
3. Losing my keys
4. Losing my cell phone

Places I've lived
1. Paul, Pocatello and Boise Idaho
2. Iowa
3. Dominican Republic
4. Salt Lake City
5. New Hampshire

Jobs I've Had
1. Video store customer service (3 times!)
2. Nanny
3. Governor's Mansion caretaker and manager.
4. Hotel maid (HATED this!!!)
5. Testing Center Proctor (Ricks College - fun place to meet boys)

Things people don't know about me
1. My feet are so flat that when I walk barefoot they make little suction-cup sounds.
2. I'm very scared of sharks
3. I'd love to go to cooking school.
4. I love cemetaries.

Post-pinewood derby happys

Very Serious Warning: If you have not read and responded with your opinion to my previous pinewood derby entry you are forbidden go any further. Go directly to pre-pinewood derby jitters. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200 dollars.

That said, here's what happened at the pinewood derby. Topher's group, Webelos 1, raced second. His car was very fast. The computer program flashes the speed and placement of each car in each race. Jay had helped another boy from Toph's den with the wheels on his car and Jeremy's car was also fast. Topher won first place in his den and we could gage by looking at speeds in the following races that his car would be a contender for first place. I was incredibly conflicted. I approached Topher with the possibility of withdrawing from the grand championship race to give someone else a chance to win. I told him that I wasn't sure what was right or wrong but encouraged him to make the decision himself. When Ronan's Wolf group raced it was clear that Ronan had a very fast car too, and he won his division. The Tiger Cubs raced last and I checked in with Topher to see what he had decided to do. I confess, I really wanted him to withdraw from the race and I think he sensed that, but I also voiced my support of his ability to make a decision and that I would stand behind whatever decision he made. Just before the championship races were about to begin Topher quietly withdrew. Our very gregarious cub master called him to the front and asked him to publicly state what and why. I felt anxious and then so well-pleased when my son simply said that he had won before and felt like someone else should have a chance. The lady standing next to me looked at me and we both started to cry. We were not the only ones.

It was a rewarding experience for me as a mother. I felt like my son had done a selfless thing, a hard thing and that he had made a positive impression on many people. More rewarding was hugging my boy away from the action and seeing the tears in his eyes and sensing that they weren't tears of sorrow.

Ronan went on to win the championship with Jeremy in second. Let me also state that I was so proud of Ronan. He was a very gracious winner and a good sport and he made me happy. What a privelege to raise such sons!

Pre-pinewood derby jitters

Today is the boy's pinewood derby. They belong to a local cub scout pack that consists of about 50 other cubs. When we moved here 2 1/2 years ago we learned that the pinewood derby was traditionally held on Sunday and with regret explained that we couldn't participate on Sunday because of our religious beliefs. I volunteered to head up the pinewood derby if our group would consider changing the day to Saturday. That exchange took place at the sign-up in September and I doubted anything would come of it because we were new to the area and had no connections or loyalties established. To my delight, when the pinewood derby was announced the following January it had been scheduled for a Saturday. I volunteered again to chair the event and ended up with brownie-baking duty. (Phew!) That year Topher won the pinewood derby.

Last year Topher's car won it's first race by quite a distance. (Just for the record, I have been interrupted seven times since I began writing this. Journaling used to be so therapeutic.) Back to the derby, I was concerned (another interuption, Ronan, showing me that his wart is finally falling off) let's see, I was concerned that Topher's car might win the championship again (interruption) and I want these people to like us. I literally was praying that his car would lose. (Interruption - Lincoln is now awake) He ended up taking third place overall. I felt O.K. except that they race in dens and then the winner of each den goes on to the championship race so for two years in a row Topher's car has won in his den. I don't want him to win the den this year. I'd like another boy to have a chance.

I spoke with Jay about my concerns. I don't want him to sabotage Topher's car per se (interruption), I simply want him to make sure it doesn't win (ahem). Jay doesn't seem to feel the same level of anxiety over this and the car looks darn fast. What do you people think of this dilemna? Opinions please.

Ronan's car, on the other hand, I'm really excited about. He's named it The Dart, (interruption) it's painted green with a silver windshield (interruption), and I'd (interruption, I'm not kidding) love to see it win.

P.S. You're all thinking, "Why doesn't she put a show on for those ill-behaved children to buy herself a little time?" and I'll tell you why. Today is Saturday morning. Job morning. Torture morning. (telephone interruption) Putting a show on before jobs is never advised and I had to send this into cyberspace before the race. There. Done. Off to help with toilet cleaning.

"I'm very excited and scared to be here."

Name that movie.

Scared because:
1. I feel an ulcer coming on every time I even walk by the computer.
2. I have been pretending for years to have all my ducks in a row and I'm about to reveal the truth.

Excited because:
1. I love to write. It helps me find perspective and joy.


I'm falling asleep writing this. These first 50 words have just taken me 45 minutes to compose. That's roughly one minute per word! I'd like to write something truly brilliant, this being my first official entry and all, but my brain just went on strike.

Off and running...

I have just set Lauralee up to go. Watch out everyone!